Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
