We won't sleep together?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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