I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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