Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
