heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
