1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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