batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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