Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
