All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
