I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
