sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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