there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
