We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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