well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
