um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO