Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.