He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize