no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize