And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
