did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize