I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
