I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
