I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Text me some of your sweat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
