im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
