Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
