Got a toothbrush?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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