shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
