Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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