I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I need water and some morals
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
