The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
