Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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