3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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