You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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