I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
