Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
