you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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