she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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