Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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