I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
