i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
