Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
