I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
