accomplished twins. life is a go
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
