All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
