Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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