i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
