This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
