zippers are such a cool invention
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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