Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
