we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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