I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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