4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize