Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
