You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
