She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
