i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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