Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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