Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
