the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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